TV time. Grab your smock. Performing.

Happy Monday, Valley Moms!

🦜 You’re not crazy — your toddler just has a lot of questions. On average, a toddler asks 300 questions per day — no wonder moms are always on their toes! What’s the craziest/funniest/sweetest question you’ve gotten so far?

👀 In this week’s issue:

• It’s never too late

• Ladies’ night with an easel

• Permission to step off stage

Up first…

MOTHERHOOD

It’s time to turn off the TV

The other day I was with a group of friends. The conversation turned to screentime, and one of my good friends told us that her five-year-old has never seen a full movie.

I couldn't believe it — and it made me look closer at how I was dealing with screentime.

Before I had kids, I knew I wanted to keep a tight leash on screentime. I love a good movie and show, so I wasn’t going to institute a complete ban, but I wanted to raise a free-range chicken (lol), and I know screentime can have a huge impact on that goal.

This issue had been on my mind already, and through my friend, God gave that small voice a megaphone.

I had gotten into such a rut. Woke up grumpy from a nap? TV. Mom’s gotta work? TV. Need to bring in groceries? TV. Need a break? TV. So-so weather? TV.

This is not how I wanted my day with my kid to look. He wasn’t learning how to handle boredom and big feelings, or learn how to occupy himself while I’m working or busy. AND our routine wasn’t doing anything to help me become a more patient, intentional, and effective mom.

Of course, there will always be sick days, really crummy weather, and tons of other moments when I turn to a show for help or fun — even my friend’s kids know who Mr. Rogers is. The point isn’t about going full-out Little House on the Prairie. It’s just a shift in mindset and priorities.

So, it was time to enforce some new rules. Here are the real-life strategies we’re working on implementing and hoping to reduce the screen time in our house (I’ll keep you updated on how it goes):

Say no

No is a full sentence. Use it. It’s magic.

Yes, there will be tantrums for a few days or a week. Trust me, though. A bored kid will figure out what to do, especially when the sun’s out.

Be present

I’ve challenged myself to get off my own screens and save work for early morning, nap time, and after bedtime. My being present with my kids helps tame tantrums and fill the hours. I’ve learned an important question to ask: “Do you want to help me?”

Those six words are music to a kid’s ear. Just do your best to bring your kid in as much as possible. It does take longer often (and I’m not perfect with this), but man, those kids just love to be involved with your daily routine.

Screentime can’t beat it.

90’s rules

Do you remember when movies were something super special? Friday night would roll around, and your family would sit on the couch together and watch a movie. It was a whole experience.

I remember taking family walks to the Blockbuster on my scooter and picking out movies together.

As much as we can recreate that feeling, we’re going to. That’s our new approach to movies. It’s a family affair.

Content change

I’ve become more intentional with what I put on the TV when I do use screentime. Instead of kids’ shows (yes, even the low-stim ones), I’m opting for things he’s interested in. YouTube is a huge help here.

We’re all about animal videos and NASCAR highlights right now. He’s learning something, getting exposed to his passions, and it’s satisfying his screentime craving.

You’re in charge

All screentime has a time limit (10-20 minute sessions). You can also off the automatic next episode/video play settings in many streaming platforms to keep him from getting sucked in. When it’s over, it’s over.

Make ‘em move

Another great hack is to require physical activity as “payment” for screentime. Want to watch an episode? I need ten jumping jacks. OR go for the brain. “No screentime until we’ve read three books!”

Those conversations with friends can have a huge positive impact on you if you let them. Listen to those little nudges and go in the direction God’s calling you. This is not always an easy task, but it’s about progress, not perfection.

Whether you’re bothered by the amount of screentime your kids get or not, or there’s something else on your heart and mind, I hope you take my moment of conviction and apply it to some other area of your motherhood journey.

We’re all in this together, and we’re all learning as we go! Remember, it’s never too late to change something!

QUICK QUESTION!

AROUND THE VALLEY

Let’s go, girls.

Saturday, May 23rd at 6pm is LADIES NIGHT at Inspirations Ceramic & Arts Cafe — and it’s happening all summer long.

Here are the deets:

“The perfect excuse to gather your girls for a creative night out. Whether you’re painting matching mugs, making gifts for each other, or simply soaking up time together. Ladies Night at Inspirations is all about fun, friendship, and creating memories. All attendees will receive a special swag bag filled with gifts, coupons, and more from amazing local businesses! It’s our way of celebrating community and giving you a little extra to take home.

Seats are limited—follow this link to sign up.”

MOM THOUGHT OF THE DAY

My favorite mom phrase

You’ve seen it a thousand times: The tears, the screams, the fetal position. All signs of a classic meltdown.

Here’s one thing I’ve picked up along the way to help shorten or eliminate meltdowns (and help my kid learn to regulate their own emotions).

Teach them this:

“Take a deep breath."

Deep breathing is magic for a keyed-up kid. It can help them reduce stress, reset their emotions, and even improve focus. I find myself doing it more, too!

There are lots of ways to actually teach this skill, and you can find some popular strategies here.

ONE LAST THING

Stop performing

A couple of weeks ago, we posted a Bible verse on Instagram: Colossians 3:17. It reads, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

What a powerful reminder of the “why” behind our motherhood. And this morning I want to look a few verses ahead.

Colossion 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters”

Working for the Lord and not for men.

No, this isn’t a feminist rant; it’s an audience reminder. You’re not here to put on a show for others — you’re here to carry out your God-given mission and purpose. And what is that? To go and make disciples. To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly. To pray without ceasing. And the list goes on.

Who are you performing for? If it’s anyone other than God, burnout is around the corner.

Take a deep breath this morning and reset your intention for the week.

💝 Thanks for reading! A GNO is so needed right now…let’s go paint something! 🎨 

🗒️ This just in! 75% of our readers say dogs SHOULD NEVER be off leash. Better leash up Fido!

👯‍♀️ Keep up with us @valley_moms on IG. Send comments and suggestions to [email protected].